lq: +Adam Lodestone (addressed to me):
I don't mean any insults but if a transgendered person has the right to be called the pronouns they want, I think any other person has the right to not be called 'cis-gendered'. And yes I understand the origins, but it's being used so much more now, and feels like an unnecessary label in a normal discussion to me.
Just like how some 'black' people prefer 'African-American' or 'person of colour'.
ME: +lq (me addressing them):
I hear that and respect what you are saying. The only problem with what you are suggesting here is that if I talk about my experiences as a transgender person and have to refer to those who are not transgender and only use the word "people" or "person"...then what am I?? See what I am saying? I then get put outside of the human experience, which is not ok at all.
And "trans" is not a pronoun... it is an adjective to describe my gender orientation. He, she, they, are all pronouns and you get to be referred to by your chosen pronouns all you want. Chances are, if you are not transgender, people always use the right pronouns for you.
Now, I don't like and don't agree with trans people creating a problem by using the words "cis gender" in a derogatory way, as if it were a bad thing or as if all cis gender people are rotten.
I don't support that and never will... but I just had a conversation with someone on a FB thread about relative privilege and how being addressed in such a way that points out someone's privilege relative to that which another person has can be painful and embarrassing for the person with greater privilege and... unfortunately... it kinda has to be painful and embarrassing in order for change to happen so that the population that experiences oppression and which is disenfranchised is raised up in society to a more equal position of safety and quality of life.
Does any of this make sense? I completely understand about wanting to do away with labels that divide unnecessarily, and I am right there with you. What I am trying to say, however, is that like apartheid in South Africa, how could you talk about the systematic oppression of black South Africans without referring to the minority white population who were oppressing them? In the instance of trans folks, it is not trans people who are killing us or denying us an equal place in society, it is cis gender people who are doing those things TO us BECAUSE we are transgender. And our experience of our selves and our lives is very different from a cis gender person's experience. The difference matters, and so then how do we talk about difference without delineating who is who in the conversation? I feel that, until they don't really mean anything anymore from a social and political and experiential point of view, the labels have to stay. But hopefully, if we make progress, not for much longer...